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Can your relationship survive long distance?

November 25, 2010

By Karen Rodriguez, Staff Writer

College is a big step in one’s life. It’s the time when we pack up our belongings and our high school memories and prepare for a whole new adventure. For most of us, this means leaving behind family, friends and that special someone.

According to statistics, 25-40 percent of all romantic relationships among college students are long distance. This means that at least a quarter of college students understand how much time and effort is needed to make or break a long distance relationship.

While I’m sure most of us have had our share of long distance relationship blunders and can probably tell a story or two, this does not mean that every long distance relationship is bound to fail.

If there is a strong commitment from both parties to make the relationship work, then there is a better chance of maintaining a relationship. The three main reasons a long distance relationship could fail involve a lack of communication, trust or time to talk to the other person.

“At the beginning we both said that we’d call each other every day and even made a plan to when we would both come and visit, but somehow we fell apart,” says Katie Holcomb a junior and outdoor leadership major.

In order to understand what helps a long distance relationship maintain its stability, it is necessary to understand what causes them to malfunction.

One of the leading causes of a breakup is a lack of communication. If you expect a relationship to work, you have to be very open and honest about what you expect from the other person. There needs to be a clear understanding of whether the relationship is monogamous or open. In addition, both parties need to be clear on expectations regarding visiting each other in person and how both parties expect to communicate. You must learn to answer them openly and honestly, so that both of you know where each other stands.

Another cause of a relationship downfall is a lack of trust. Chances are if your relationship did not have trust while you were living in the same area code, then it will not get much better once you move miles away. If there are issues with trust, either face them head on or learn to let go and move on.

Lack of time is also an issue. A relationship will not function if some type of communication is not existent. Of course college does make communication a bit of a challenge. We have classes, essays, tests, projects, rehearsals, meetings and so much more to finish before the end of the day. We are pulled towards many directions and sometimes we forget to put a little bit of time into our relationship; and sometimes, college causes our priorities to change.

“I know they say that with any kind of relationship it should be a 50-50 effort; but in reality, it should be 100-100,” says Kelli Denning, a freshman and fine arts major from Fannin County.

In the end, relationships are all about commitment. If your relationship is serious and you want the relationship to remain positive despite the distance, then make sure both parties plan on maintaining honesty, communication and dedication to the relationship. Also, it never hurts to remind someone that you love them.

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