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Which came first? Love or sex?

October 12, 2010

Karen Rodriguez, Staff Writer

These days we live in a sex-crazed society. From television to magazines to the internet, sex is every where, even in the newspaper. Hence, our views about sexual encounters and partners have changed. We view sexuality a little bit more lightheartedly, and sometimes don’t even take it seriously. To some people, it’s just one more thing to do or as some people would say, “one more person to do.”

What we don’t realize is that we’ve got it all upside down and turned around. In this society, the line between casual sex and intimacy has blurred. Does love lead to sex or does sex lead to love? In our sex-crazed society, it’s becoming more difficult to tell anymore.

One way that this is happening is through “friends with benefits.” As a woman, I really don’t understand the whole “friends with benefits” relationship. What’s the benefit? You get laid? I thought the whole point of having sex was to make love, to be with someone who loves you back and to be with someone who will hold you in the morning when you wake up. Not someone who will say, “thank you very much. Same time tomorrow, right?”

Maybe, it is possible to have a “friend with benefits.” But, isn’t there too much at risk? First, there is the health risk. I mean, who is to say that your “friend” doesn’t have more “friends” like you.

Second, what about your heart? Sex is a very intimate act. It is meant to bring people closer and make a relationship stronger.

Third, how do you know what the other person is looking for? Not all guys are looking for one-night stands; and, of course, not all girls are looking for serious relationships.

With these types of relationships there are numerous risks; and, unfortunately, they haven’t developed a clear, solid  method to answer to this question. I know people who have had a one-night stand and actually ended up marrying that person. I also know others who waited until their wedding night to have sex, and it’s worked out well for them too.

I think that most women hope to find their prince charming one day, and men, of course, hope to find their princess. To those of you who have already found your partner, you are very lucky. And to those of you who are still on the hunt, I wish you luck. It’s kind of tricky, when love and sex lead to different paths.

Karen Rodriguez will be writing a regularly featured sex and health column in the Enotah Echoes. For ideas about future articles or to recommend topics email us at editor.enotahechoes@yhc.edu.

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